He got mad at me today while i was driving… and i screamed SHUT THE FUCK UP.. I felt really bad.. ya know.. AFTER he got out of the car and slammed the door and started walking away and then kept walking away… then i kinda realized that he had no idea where he was going or even how to get to my grandparents house and i felt really bad. I felt really bad because i feel like i am going crazy, because of the fact i have to drive tomorrow and i hate driving long distances and DRIVING period. and the fact that i hate this town and the people in it. I feel really bad for taking it all out on him… I really do love him. We talked it threw.. at first i didnt feel a differnce after we got married, now i do.. He is my husband and god do i love him.
He is trying to push me in a better direction and a better situation.. Giving me hints and what not.. i want him to just come out and tell me, but he doesnt want to tell me what to do.. He is so cute and i love him. :]
Going to sleep now, so i am well rested for my 3 1/2 hour drive home, alone for the first time.
First going to see my dad to say goodbye and grab some of my stuff that was stored at his house. I’ll miss him… but i will see him again. i will keep in touch with him.
Sorry i havent been on latley.
Basically here is a semi update..
I got married to The “Long distant” realationship man.
I moved to be with him..:]
I have been doing more and more, and i am taking control of my life.
i think i might stop posting and delete my account.
Biggest fear : Having some sort of relapse… but i realize i control it.
Biggest fear at the moment.. The 3 1/2 hour drive home tomorrow.. & seeing my dad.. after i ran away and secretly eloped only telling him a day in advance right before i go to get my stuff stored at his house..